5 words that changed my life

Mine was given to me at 13 years old, as I sat on the phone with a family friend, who incidentally, was also a psychologist. It was evening, and after a particularly troubling incident, I had called him and between sobs began describing how awful I believed my life was. I still remember all of the emotions I was feeling: hopelessness, sadness, frustration. I felt lost, depressed, unwanted, and in that moment, I think I actually believed that my life would never become better. Looking back at my childhood, I remember how small things had a way of feeling very permanent and devastating. 

So what do you think he said to me? What could you say to a 13-year that would make more sense than the overwhelming surge of feelings and emotions? 

He spoke gently, but I remember he only spoke five words, and asked me to repeat them after him: “My feelings are not facts.” Still asking me to repeat, he went on, “…they are my current view of my current circumstance.” 

I was only 13 years old, but I remember those first five words kind of jolting me. They weren’t an attack on my feelings, and they didn’t discount what I was going through. Instead, they comforted me and gave me a feeling of hope. I wanted a magic fix, a profound statement that would change my life, a tangible solution to all my problems. And though I didn’t realize it at the time, he actually gave me something better. He gave me a formula for life. And in my mind, if it could meet the power of my feelings, then it could also look dragons in the face. 

Why do I say that? Because all of these years later, those 5 words have gotten me through many difficulties. They have brought me sanity, given me hope, been a gentle reminder, and have helped me press pause when my feelings were getting the best of me. And they got me through that moment in time when as a child, I felt like my life was crumbling around me. 

What are some words that have changed your life? I would love to hear your answers in the comments